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what thoughts loosed and straight with found

what well-intentioned purposes accordingly set forth

what lovings freely bestowed and also well-intentioned

what wrongs real or imagined and readily seen through

what loose friendships, tortured souls, aggrieved lovers

what an hundred apologies repeated nightly by aid of a

flickering candle as you stand prayering for forgiveness

what earned fortunes stored in a rectangular cement house

what planned and neatly planted gardens daily watered

with freshly scented waters

what attempts at living and prolonging life – however futile

what, that what is, shall cease to be in time

what that in all movements – equally futile and ever a worm

what stalking ministrations ever ready to cut down the quick

what purposes, what loves, what jealousies, what lusts

what of all that haunts all men

what of death

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136

unto you and through you do i give of myself

desirous to be rid of all unkind movements and violent instincts

take then those lazy, wondering, uncouth, earthy, accused hands

forget not the condemned, judged, wanted, fugitive, trifling feet

understand dear saint that here reside no sanctified fellow

nor some churched nature singing the praises of his maker

nay – mine are the unrepentant movements of blackened futures married  to their kind and trodden under foot by equally vile parts

these bloodied feet be but the tired maps embossed with all the airs, waters, deserts and perspirations of my travails

even all deaths and livings of my coming and receding being

alway paraded about in my prison garb and there prepared for my termination

then this tortured, soul-hungry, cracked vessel subsists on a faithful knowledge that the springs of doom shall forever flow

so inquire not of the departed joys nor her amiable species – curious concerns

for here such wondering and pilgrim trifles need not be wasted

ah! am ever ready for my burial

nay – daily i die in all that i live

how that by being i create my own un-being

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135

this seeming living this – then this also breathing not

these decaying accusations stored root deep in some bone

alway imbued with seeds of creations and death

in life – uncommonly ignored, ridiculed, destroyed, cursed, forgotten

in death – uncommonly ignored, ridiculed, destroyed, cursed, forgotten

how that one merely works to prepare the soul for the other

some living

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134

our lasting impress upon those of a past time shall remain there standing with these departed souls

alway instructed in the workings of proper conduct – how failingly they labored in into their graves

the tireless prophet – pregnant with such soul heavy tidings summarily rejected and scorned

his weighty counsel unheeded and instead returned as judgement upon an unrepentant people

what of the every-man field laborer faithfully fulfilling his earthly ministration without slight nor murmur

this in spite of the innumerable abuses and withheld payments – on he continues

that mother nightly given over to hours of groans and supplications as she prays for the wayward child

then also the innocent beast on the plains ever afflicted with stores of unmatched love and courage

in vain the mother shields her young from the approaching jaws of death

ever the lovers, ever the teachers, ever the protectors, ever the selfless sheppards guiding their young towards green pasteur

what then be the proper recompense for these

how indeed to reward the dead

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133

soul-wearied slave – how long shall the heavied soundings of those metal coffins conspire to enslave you

indeed what be the purpose of prayers if here only pains have their being

all about stand the stark emblems of singed skins, scared limbs, unkempt members, jagged pieces, even retreating humanities

the motherless; fatherless; sonless; daughterless; music-less; homeless; stateless; in all ways less

what be the manner of their sin – how grievous and large such a charge

on then they march – alway alone

to the shameless sinner given over to an overbundance of store-bought righteousness mind your gap

find it not your office to create some rehearsed caring for them

they need not your self-righteous salvations – even the selfsame momentary lapses masquerading as compassion

allow their suffering to have its course – as you always have remained indifferent

continue your pursuits after riches – your incessant prostitutions of all your members, bartering even your body

as your pained understandings towards the least of these be but mere interruptions from your natural order

surely some proper medications would return you to your proper calcified state

for these – now enslaved souls – shall work out their ordeal with content and proud bearings

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132

of your silent arrogance unkindly towering over natures least born children

running those amplified eyes to and fro as though in search of an equal

into your mountain hid castles do we train our thoughts

daily knees in faithful supplication for some touching of your supposed lovings

those feeble forms teaming with armies of unchurched worms

even those roundly undead caretakers in transition

for these temporal hidings be but transient murals delaying that eventual destruction

so we eat, we also pretend to love, also write proud verses

how touching – for living merely prepares one for death

that once proud and freely standing banana now finds its temporal home in some stomach – for now

the now – giddy lover overcome with celestial ruptures next professes his hatreds for his once love

what of the poet – that collector of all human emotions as though in a flask

how they too stand judged by fortunes oldest comedy of woe and sorrows

on they rail, memorialize, pretend, pine, cry, wish, protest, imagine

alway dying even in life

thus in acordance with transcendental laws – we all take up our place in this ongoing comedy

in our hold be not the ends nor the beginning rather the middle portion

as touching upon the former – it already is – the latter – what is  shall retire and replaced with another

what then to make of this dangling middle dividing

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131

proud nymphs of my liberated unwinged thoughts

in your warm bed chambers and salted porticles

also the pregnant ankles laced in fresh purple

to you do i undeniably give of myself

this shaken molding fashioned on some slave island

unpreached in speech and altogether vulgar in the best way

train not your eyes on my uncouth form as am ever returning to a state of human deceivableness

in appearance – a sort of human – yet unforgivingly punished of nature in a manner uncommon even to vilest beast

why – this rough exterior bear the unceasing songs of bloody symphonies staged in shackled feet

yet these be not some soft words not pleas for comfort in the least

for in my body constitution stand no alien spirit of the flighty sort

these be but the resolute yawps of a fellow immovably at ease with his cursed lot

this liberated soul, these ever-green hands married to the earth, the righteously proud shoulders, the unbent knees, those well-travelled feet, the often self-kissed lips, even that same shaken and stirred vessel

long as the rain rich earth remains – so it shall

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130

in me are populated countless springs – ever foaming with vented furry

each passing moment finds me flooded in some lurid dream of bayonets and rifle powder

of marching armies studiously gathering on some ancient battle field

of mud bathed boots  married to youthful arrogance and innocence

of corrupted visages intent upon their ghastly charge

of retreating lovers carrying in hand only a static painting

of orphaned children prayering their mournful groans at the sights of mothers death

of siblings corrupted; of churches raped; of playgrounds lowered

of the retreating accusations birthed in noon day fires

of the over-running cup that is woe cooling her heels by the village well

of pleasured sympathies; of store-bought graces; of manufactured righteousnesses

of the latter – we care not for your pained understandings nor the supposed outstretched arms

use them to pick up your dog or some other pet in your charge

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129

give into all your latent desires dear pilgrim

allow no request to go unheeded and instead freely open the floodgates of your desires

beginning with your feet – gently deep them into baruch’s sunday pool

this following – find yourself some unrestrained and impressionable young girl

have your way with her while she still believes you to be some travelling official

feel it no burden to create some elaborate story as to your character and nature of your ‘visit’

in fact you are to take every step to ensure that you abide in lies and obfuscation

of your salvation and souls keep – the terms as listed by the church are fairly liberal

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128

to you marauding mercenary afflicted with webed desires

your vaunted boasts and claims of vain greatness

pity the lonely boots housing such slithering supine courage

would that you found in yourself the courage to fetch that thirsty sword

and that you gently placed in between your third and fourth rib

as the remaining ribs are betrothed to another master

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